How Do Satisfied Couples Talk About Tough Stuff?
New Book Gives Couples Clear Process for Discussing Difficult Issues Effectively
(PRWEB) November 18, 2004 -- Despite the ecstatic chemistry of a new
relationship, the qualities that bring people together are NOT the same ones
that keep couples loving and respecting each other in the long term. Having
special skills to discuss and resolve difficult issues with respect are the
missing essential ingredients that can keep relationships vital, and Jack
Tannenbaum teaches these skills in his new book, "Getting Through the Tough
Stuff: A Lovers’ How To Book for Communicating About Difficult Issues in Their
Relationship" (now available through AuthorHouse).
Almost every couple
that breaks up relates the cause of their fading love to their poor
communication and inability to resolve difficult issues. They don’t say, “This
relationship is terrible, but I’m going to stay in it because he is so handsome"
or “I’ll stay because we both love the same kind of music.” They split up mainly
because of differences or problems that escalated into highly charged arguments,
or often ended in silent withdrawal—and—they did not have effective
communication skills for resolving them.
What Tannenbaum says WILL keep
couples together is having the skills to effectively clear up misunderstandings
and emotional blockages when they surface and to work through these difficult
situations with respect. The communication ideas in his book "Getting Through
the Tough Stuff" are designed for couples to use especially when those difficult
or important issues arise and need to be discussed. And, he says, they do arise
in every relationship.
His guidelines include new “ground rules” for
sending and receiving messages about difficult issues that will help readers pay
attention to each other, rather than being angry and shutting down on each
other. By establishing agreements that prohibit tactics such as put-downs,
attacks, blame, accusations and sarcasm during these conversations, couples
build a solid foundation for meaningful dialogue. His method, known as the
Reflective Agreement Process (RAP), is an important breakthrough for couples
looking for ways to work out important issues without becoming frustrated and
distancing themselves from each other.
“The more you read Getting
Through the Tough Stuff, the more you realize there are skills here that couples
need to learn if they want an equitable, warm and intimate relationship,” writes
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Love Between Equals. “It’s hard to imagine
anyone reading it and not learning more about their communication style and
pitfalls. I can’t think of a couple who couldn’t benefit by reading
it.”
Designed for people in healthy relationships who need guidance on
communication, "Getting Through the Tough Stuff"" is an excellent source of
information couples can use to connect with each other, even during the most
difficult conversations. Tannenbaum developed the RAP method with colleague
Marybeth Home. They have led many workshops and also have taught the methods to
many individual couples for more than 15 years. Getting Through the Tough Stuff
is his first book. Jack Tannenbaum can be reached at: e-mail protected from spam
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Source : http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/11/prweb178566.htm