Children And Their Parents
The transition from childhood to adulthood is a journey undergone by all,
but
all in a different way. While some people believe that the maturation
process is
a time for one to develop one's individuality and uniqueness from
one's parental
figures, others believe that growing up is a fine-tuning of
beliefs, morals and
ideology passed down from generation to generation. The
old saying "A chip
of the old block" in most cases applies to every human,
regardless of how
different one may seem from one's parents. Qualities are
inherited that cannot
be suppressed and will always prevail despite how much
one may want to differ
form one's parents. While protruding into this topic,
valuable issues must be
discussed; moral ideology, lifestyles, social
influences, and physical
attributes are all factors in the distinction
between a child and his/her
parents. Morals are one of the key ingredients in
raising a child. These
thoughts are passed from the parent to the youngster
from birth and possibly
even as far as death. Parents are always helping the
development of morals
weather intentional or through actions displayed by the
parent. Although a
parent may not even realize that morals are being taught,
the idea of
"good" and "bad" are presented even in the act of
disciplining
a child. Kids grow up learning how to handle situations from past
experiences
and the lessons that have been attained. Perhaps a simple example of
this
rational is the lesson of truth. When a child lies to his/her mother,
the
mother reprimands the child and disciplinary action may be taken.
If
appropriately used, the punishment will teach the child that it is
unacceptable
to lie. As time progresses, the child will usually develop an
understanding to
tell the truth. This is important in comparing a child from
a parent because if
the parent never learned that it is inappropriate to lie,
then the child will
most likely understand the importance of truth because
truth was not a moral
prevalent in the child's upbringing. Although parents
most often teach
commendable lessons, negative morals can also be developed
in a person due to
actions taken by the parent in the past. For example, it
is a possibility that a
parent is always pushing a child to attend church.
When the child loathes
attending services and tries at all costs to avoid
them, a resistance to
religion can be formed. The child can develop excuses
as to why attending church
is pointless and begin to believe these reasons.
Further down in life a complete
opposition to religion could possibly be
established based on the roots of a
boring mass. Now the parent whose morals
are set in organized religion has a
child who has drifted away from religion
and entirely new ideas are developed in
his/her mind. Morals play an
important part in comparing and contrasting the
similarities between a parent
and a child. The presence of morals usually is
passed down to the child,
however sometimes the moral ideology presents itself
in a completely
different manner that proposes opposition between parents and
children. While
morals are very relevant to the discussion of behavioral
similarities and
differences between parents and children, lifestyles and the
reasons behind a
chosen lifestyle is also a prevalent topic in the discussion.
Some people
tend to choose a similar path that their parents have chosen, while
others
choose to break away and take a completely alternate route. The way one
lives
depends largely upon his/her personality and motivation, which in turn,
is
greatly effected by the parents. If one is brought up in an environment
that is
very neat and tidy, most likely that person will follow the habits of
growing up
in that manner and will continue to keep things orderly. The
effect can be best
described in terms of the word imitation. Because the
child is so used to doing
things a certain way, when the absence of the
parent arises, the habits are
carried over. Usually this process goes either
one of two ways: the child either
mimics the parent's habits or the child
develops a resistance. Typically when
youths reach college, they are so tired
of doing things the right way that a
form of rebellion occurs. The whole
lifestyle is rearranged now that the
parental figure is missing, and things
are free to go as they please. This
typically happens when one is forced to
do something against one's will. This
occurrence is very similar to the
changing of morals due to a disliked aspect of
life. Another example of this
is displayed in Alice Walker's "Everyday
Use." In this story, Dee, one of
the daughters, leaves home due to her
strong-willed ways (exactly like her
mother.) Dee leaves the home for city life,
a completely different lifestyle,
and returns with the same hard-headedness.
However, she now leads a life
entirely opposite to that which she was raised in.
Dee's new name,
Wangero, is possibly a sign of rebellion from her mother. The
two are so much
alike that they are torn apart because they both stand up for
what they want,
regardless of the reasons that they hold. The path in life that
one chooses
is most definitely caused by the way one is raised, weather or not
the path
is similar is dependent upon many aspects of growing up. Although
"Everyday
Use" presents the suggestion of changing lifestyles in the
ascertation of
similarities and differences between a mother and a daughter, the
story also
shows how the changing of society can cause parents and children to
resemble
or differ from one another. Part of the reason that Dee went through
such an
extravagant change was because society was also going through
changes.
When generations develop new ideas and trends also develop, such
as in Dee's
case of trying to stay up to date in what was going on in her
environment,
children begin to differ from their parents. While this makes
parents and
children different in the sense that their likes and dislikes are
not the same,
it also makes them similar because every generation is prone to
societies
influences. For the most part, younger generations participate in
the changing
of the times and this does cause differences in attitudes
between children and
parents. There are some cases, however, where because a
child does not
participate in the evolution of society the child is very
similar to the parent
in one aspect while a sense of individualism is never
achieved. In William
Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily," Miss Emily is stuck
in a society that
was present when her father was still alive. Miss Emily's
immaturity to face
real issues drive her to insanity because she never fully
develops her own self
and her own personal strengths. She does not face
society after her father's
death because she never really adapts to society
in the first place. While her
father was alive, Miss Emily led a somewhat
normal life, however she never fully
adapted to social interaction,
therefore, when her father died, she was unable
to handle life in a society.
While Miss Emily is very proud of her father and
family heritage, just like
her father was, she is also very unstable because she
lacks her own identity.
This is a rather extreme example of how social
interaction within a culture
can distinguish between the similarities and
differences between parents and
children, however it is a beneficial example in
proving how people develop
due to their upbringing and society's impact upon
one's lifestyle. Aside from
the way a child is raised and the presence of
parental supervision in one's
life, there are more obvious factors that allow
for similarities in a child
and his/her parents. There are certain mental
conditions that force a child
to act in a similar manner to his/her parents.
Some aspects of one's
personality are passed down and are usually surfaced in
one's character. A
simple example of this is alcoholism. It is a theory of many
people that
alcoholism is a genetic inheritance. Therefore, if one is a child of
an
alcoholic, one is prone to become an alcoholic following in the footsteps
of
the parent. There are also mental disabilities that are thought of
as
genetically inherited such as ADHD and Turret's syndrome. These mental
disorders
are yet another example of how one can unintentionally mimic some
behavioral
patters of one's parents. Some people think that children can grow
old and never
contain any similarities as the parents. I, however, feel as
though the parents
play an important role in the development of a child.
Children learn from their
parents, therefore actions, attitudes, and feelings
are grown surrounded by the
already-learned lessons of the adults. Aside from
the morals, lifestyles, and
social influences, children are a part of their
parents. Character traits must
be passed down and similar ways are learnt.
The old saying "The apple
doesn't fall far from the tree" is definitely a
statement that should be
taken with some true consideration.