First Date Jitters? April Masini's Tips and Advice On How To Cope With Fear Of First Dates
First impressions. They are immediate, they are long lasting and, in most cases, they are permanent. Here's how to make sure your first date conversations not only leave a great first impression, but also get you where you want to go.
(PRWEB) June 29, 2005 -- Dating can be frightening if you put too much
pressure on yourself or on the date. This can be a horror show, or it can be
enjoyable and productive. The beauty is – you get to decide what it is. Yup.
That’s right. Even though it doesn’t feel like it, you’re in control.
Don’t believe me? Run – don’t walk – and pick up “Date Out Of Your
League" (for men) or "Think and Date Like A Man" (for women), both written by
April Masini, then read on and listen up – it’s true.
First Date
Conversation Do's and Don'ts
First dates can be ignitable or real duds -- and
the trick is that sometimes the ignitable first dates fizzle out and fade away
while the real duds just take longer to get going and slowly boil. Here are some
tips to make first date conversations get you where you want to go -- learning
about your date and having fun doing it.
Do:
1.Ask what you want to
know. Why bother with superficial questions that riff on that old standby,
"What's your major?" If you know what you want in a relationship then you won't
waste time on a first date or a first date conversation.
The best way to
ask what you want to know is to have done your homework -- in fact, it’s one of
my ABC’s – a basic you should master when starting to date: know what you want.
Whether it’s fun without commitment, or someone to marry, stay focused and don’t
waste your time – or your date’s. If he or she doesn’t fall into that category
of people you want as a date, then just say no.
2. Tell the truth, but
don't give your entire unedited autobiography during dinner. The idea is to go
back and forth in a conversation. Be aware of who's doing most of the talking.
If it's you, stop and ask some questions.
There’s a difference between
playing coy, and lying. You should always tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth – just not all of the truth at one time! Regurgitating
your life story in one sitting is boring, and if you date often, you’ll get into
the habit of giving the same story of my life speech at each date. However, if
you tell him a little at a time, you’ll be able to see if he’s really listening,
and if he’s interested by his response. He’ll want to know more, or he’ll change
the subject.
The same goes for him. Be aware of what he tells you and
what he doesn’t. Ask him what you want to know. Be aware of whether he asks
questions – or if he’s tuned out and is staring at your chest. Same with the
ladies – see if she’s really listening to you, or if she’s staring at your broad
shoulders and not listening to a word you’re saying.
3. Relax. It's great
to want to impress someone, but if you spend the entire date on your Christmas
dinner behavior, you'll have kept "the real you" from them, and maybe even vice
versa!
This doesn’t mean you should belch the alphabet and show him what
kind of a party gal you really are. It does mean that you should be comfortable
with yourself, and laugh if you think something’s funny, and just as quickly,
don’t laugh if something he thinks is a joke is offensive. Manners are terrific,
and a good show of how someone treats themselves and the world, but they’re just
the bells and whistles. If you relax and have some fun, you’ll let your date see
a side of you that is important – and you’ll get to see how easily they open up
– or don’t.
Don't
1.Don't focus too much on talk about what "your
type" is, and why you've been unsuccessful up to now. By describing your type,
you may be insulting your date -- besides which, if you're so sure of your type,
why are you out on a first date?
You wouldn’t like it if he told 36A,
you, that he usually goes for “bigger” blondes, and he wouldn’t like it if you
tell him you usually go out with guys who are more buff. So don’t start telling
him what you don’t like, and why you’ve made an exception in this case. It’s not
just bad manners – it’s not productive.
2. Don't be rude or use
questionable manners. Don't say, "Shut up," "Get out," or any other playful put
down -- and don't curse. Learn to communicate without these language crutches.
3. Don't start asking your first date to commit to a party in August, a
weekend in September, and meeting your friends at Christmas -- on the first
date. Even if you like this other person a lot, stay cool. Don't play all your
cards at once, and don't make commitments so far in advance on a first -- or
second -- date.
And for a few laughs: April's Top 10 Things You Don't
Want to Hear On A First Date
1. Oh look -- my husband!
2. Oh look -- my
boyfriend!
3. Oh look -- my parole officer!
4. Do you have herpes, too?
5. Let's get really drunk and drive!
6. I want to stop at the market --
I'm out of cat food for my fifteen kitties.
7. My fourth ex-husband was
really crazy, but he was nothing like my fifth husband.
8. I hardly ever have
visions any more since the electro-shock therapy -- you should try it.
9.
I'm not drinking tonight -- pregnancy scare. Just to be on the safe side.
10.
Wow, your feet are so small -- I hope that isn't a sign of other
things.
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Source : http://www.prweb.com/releases/2005/6/prweb255618.htm