Date at Work But Work at Dating:April Masini Discusses "The Rules" For Dating Your Co-Worker (and Your Boss)
Even though it’s often advised against, dating people you work with makes practical sense—after all, we spend so much of our lives in the office, there’s often no other way or time to meet anyone else. But that’s not to say you don’t have to be smart —extra smart, in fact—about your choices, and take special precautions if you’re going to venture into an office romance.
(PRWEB) July 29, 2005 -- Men love women who are confident and focused, with
interests and areas of expertise. Who wouldn’t? Think about it. It goes both
ways. Women love men who are successful and exude confidence – and there isn't
an easier, simpler or more convenient place to meet them than at work?
Have doubts? Pick up April Masini's best-selling book, "Date Out Of Your
League" (if you're a guy) or "Think and Date Like A Man" (if you're a gal). Then
get to work ... at dating!
Pros and Cons of Dating A
Co-Worker
PROS:
1. You know he or she has a job. You know how he or she is
thought of at work.
2. You have a lot in common and can be more productive
because you have this in common.
3. There is an understanding of each
other's work schedules. One of you isn't angry if the other has to work late
because you have a better understanding of what's involved.
CONS:
1.
If you break up or have a fight, you don't get the respite and space you may
need to heal or cool down because you'll see the person so often at work.
2.
Sexual harassment is a real problem that can occur more easily when there are
lines that get blurred at work. In addition, people gossip and you may make
enemies if one of you is higher up in the corporate or business ladder at work,
and the one is lower down may be perceived as getting unfair advantages.
3.
If one of you wants a break from work and the other is into work, you may not
have an escape from it -- even out of the office.
Date at Work – But
Work at Dating
Okay, so you’ve thought about it, and you’re still with me
that dating someone from work is viable and can even be successful. Here are
"the rules" and special precautions to keep in mind if you’re going to venture
into an office romance.
Water Cooler Gossip
The one overriding
warning worth heeding—the one that should dictate all of your actions and
words—is this: People talk. No matter how friendly your co-workers are, or how
tight-lipped the object of your affection seems, secrets are almost always
spilled, one way or another, whether accidentally or intentionally. Translation?
Say nothing and do nothing that you do not want everyone else to know about.
This means no chit-chat with the girls at the water cooler about his size or
performance, and no pillow talk with him about how much you loathe your boss,
and can’t wait to take over his or her job. There’s too much at stake—like, your
livelihood—to take risks, and there’s too much to lose—like a potentially great
love—not to give it a shot.
Rules About Dating Co-Workers
1. Don’t mix
business and pleasure on company time. Agree to date out of work hours, but
don’t turn a business lunch into a romantic lunch.
2. Stay fair. Don’t give
someone you’re dating better work or pay, and don’t punish someone you’re
breaking up with by giving him or her worse work or pay. Otherwise, you may find
yourself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.
3. Make sure he or she is
actually single. If they’re not – then keep personal remarks at work limited to
sports, the weather and the kids. Don’t gripe or listen to gripes about a
spouse. “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable talking about your wife – I want to keep
our relationship all business because I value us as co-workers,” is all you need
to say – and do.
Dating Your Boss
Dating your boss may be a lightning
rod for trouble, but the truth is it's natural to fall in love with someone you
work with, that you admire. And if you’re a terrific asset to the company,
you’re going to catch your boss’s attention with your work. If you’re
attractive, and there’s chemistry between the two of you, it’s natural for a
relationship to become possible. Therefore, dating the boss is something that is
taboo only if you let it be. That said, there are definitely 'Do's & Don'ts'
to follow that will make or break your romance.
Do’s and Don’ts For
Dating Your Boss
1. Don't Boast. Your boss may look like Brad Pitt or
Angelina Jolie, and you may be so pumped up that you've got a hot date with
hottie -- but keep your feelings to yourself -- and your friends outside of
work. This is a great time to start practicing certain boundaries. Work gossip
is inevitable. Practice good behavior by keeping the water cooler talk to work
and the weather.
2. Don't Make Out At Work. Keep all affection outside of
office parameters. It's okay to meet at the office, but don't smooch at the
office.
3. Don't Have Love Spats At Work. If things weren't great the night
before, don't bring your disappointment to your staff meetings -- no pun
intended. You will have to practice wearing two hats -- even if you're mad at
the boss you're dating, don't put the kabosh on his comments at the Monday
morning meeting and act out your frustrations at work.
4. Do Put Rumors To
Rest. If you hear gossip, don't fuel the fire by denying the truth. Everyone
finds out that you're dating eventually. While you should not announce your
relationship, you can say, "Yes, we're dating. We're both single adults and we
were lucky enough to have found each other. We're working very hard to keep our
social life separate from our work life." And smile.
5. Do Communicate Well.
Dating your boss seriously, is a lot like blending families because there are so
many people involved -- whether you like it or not -- and they're all wondering
how your relationship is going to affect them. Put yourself in your co-workers
shoes, and talk openly and often with your honey about what you see, feel and
want to do about it.
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Source : http://www.prweb.com/releases/2005/6/prweb255617.htm